A while back I took a pretty long walk in the campus. One good thing about this campus is that unlike that of IITK, there aren't these security guards all around. Hence, one can take solitary walks without disturbance and without raising much curiosity!

My 'creative faculty' seems to be dormant these days. This is true and it has reasons, but none too important. Or may be too important to find place in this blog. Does not matter. Hopefully I will back with vengeance soon.

Pain, anxiety, helpless inaction and such tortures have often been romanticized in literature. I wish I could internalize that romantic aspect of it. I just can't do that :( Either I was not born a romantic or somewhere, in the adjustments of life, have lost that quality. Or may be nobody really feels that romantic about these. And all these descriptions in literature are just an outcome of defense mechanisms of people.

Whatever! Let me not take a universal stand.

So, I took this rather long walk a while back. And one thing I desperately wanted was a pebble. Why, you will (or will not) ask? And I will (even if not required) answer that. But before that let me tell you how frustrating walking on clean roads sometimes get. Yes, you might find it difficult to get a pebble on the clean roads of IIML campus :( After completing my walk one way, I finally did find a pebble, which I used on my way back, in a way I will describe in the next paragraph (hopefully!).

Okay, so I took this rather long solitary walk a while back (its no longer 'a while' I guess) and I found a pebble. Now, what did I do with it? I kept pushing it using my toes while I walked back. Haven't you ever done that? Don't tell me. And if you indeed haven't, believe me you have missed something. And it looks quite romantic, let me tell you. And its an excellent way to get the feeling of helplessness out of your system; even if only temporarily. The reason I would ascribe to it is quite perverse. It's like this. You feel helpless when the control of your situation is in someone else's hand. And if you find yourself controlling somebody else's (even if it's just a poor, lifeless pebble) situation, its some kind of boost to your morale. Quite an innocent manifestation of a perverse tendency, isn't it? Innocent as long as someone does not prove that pebbles also have life!

Ah! Probably you do not find it an effective or innocent method? Well, doesn't matter. You have already wasted enough time reading this worthless piece (Oho! As if other pieces of yours are quite worth it, Jaya!).

Hopefully I will be back soon. It's probable that in this dormancy, I shall lose some readers. But again does not matter. There is never a bad time to start afresh.

And the dear Old Bachchan -

कितनी आई और गई पी
इस मदिरालय में हाला,
टूट चुकी अबतक कितने ही
मादक प्यालों की माला,
        कितने साकी अपना अपना
        काम खतम कर दूर गए,
कितने पीने वाले आए
किन्तु वही है मधुशाला।

Translation can be found in an earlier post.

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