Somehow the present seems to be missing from my blog these days. I am not writing much about life here, the way I used to do at IITK. Let me not explain why. It will come here someday when I pass out, because the voluminous series of mails "For the first time in my life" has lots of what I could have put here. But certainly I am going through a lot - not necessarily pleasant, not necessarily unpleasant. While some of the feelings are explainable, there is some sort of an anxiety which I am unable to explain and which I can not get rid of. Am I nervous? Of what? Possibly for quite sometime, good or bad, right or wrong, my identity was established at IITK. People had very clear conception of who they are interacting with and I could just play the role they expected and get done with it. Now suddenly everything is new and unknown (Sure, it is so for everyone - but I am talking about myself now). But what the heck! Was IITK once not similarly unknown to me, was DPS Ranchi or Navodaya not similarly new to me when I went there? What is causing this anxiety, I really do not know. Is it the place? Is it my decision to come here which I was never sure of? Is it the school like environment here? If it "for CV" attitude of people here? Is it the much more formal way of doing things here? It could be all of these or possibly none. Don't know. Extremely useless rambling, but whatever!

Categories: IIML, IITK